“Forget about the homeless and affordable housing issue. We’ve got bigger fish to fry,” said political pundit Stumpy Wagers.
“And what’s that?”
“We’ve got to tackle affordable hangar housing for small airplanes — or else we may face a crisis in homeless non-operational aircraft.”
We were sitting on cement blocks outside the Target, munching on burritos from arguably the best street taco stand in the County, on the corner of Sepulveda and Devonshire in North Hills.
“You’ve got me stumped, Stumpy. What on earth are you talking about?”
“Don’t play coy with me. I read your last story on Whiteman Airport and it was absolutely heartless. How dare you take on single-engine small plane owners for possibly paying below-market rents for hangars in poor condition? Talk about picking on the little guy.”
I took a bite of burrito, plucked a juicy strand of grilled onion off my shirt and plopped it in my mouth.
“I never thought about it like that. The story just pointed out that may be the case — as well as there allegedly being several inoperable planes on the airfield.”
“Exactly. Don’t you understand the long and storied history of the aeronautics industry in this County? These small plane owners are the backbone of this history, and probably have to scrimp and save and work their fingers raw just to pay for hangar space.”
“I never thought about that,” I said, gulping down some Horchata.
“That’s the problem with so-called journalists like you. You don’t think,” Wagers said. “I’ll bet a dollar to a donut that many of the ancestors of these plane owners came to this country and slaved away at minimum wage jobs before lifting themselves up by the bootstraps so their next generations could learn to own airplanes.”
“I might take you up on that bet,” I said.
“And now look who you’re picking on. Why, these small plane owners can’t even afford to pool their money together for a float or a program ad at the annual Pacoima Christmas Parade.”
“Point made. What do you propose to do about it?”
“Funny you should ask. I think the County needs to be lobbied to cough up money for an AHHP program.”
“AHHP? I never heard of that acronym.”
“It stands for the Affordable Hangar Housing Program. They can model it after programs for people experiencing homelessness. It should have full wrap-around services — including funding to fix inoperable planes and access to both leaded and unleaded fuel.”
“That’s preposterous, Stumper. Beyond the pale. Even for you.”
Wagers drained the last of his Horchata and crushed the cup. “Maybe. But at least I have a heart. You want another burrito or are you too busy writing hit pieces on homeless airplanes?”
